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RE: Caribbean Man - Whey yo dey?

BlessedOne — Thu, 27 May 2010 00:05:40 GMT

Yute... you made me laugh I apologize for assuming..:D

Sterling, Corpal punishment should be re-instated; however I think I may have responded in a way that made everyone think I truly believe that women cannot raise men. When infact I am doing that job as we speak. So let me try this again... I do believe that there are many reasons why we cant find our black men and I do believe with the astronomical percentage of single parent homes may be a contributing factor. Historically our single family homes were the result of parental death; historically the men were always around they took pride in raising a son. I know single parent home is not the main factor but I do believe that there is a correlation.

RE: Caribbean Man - Whey yo dey?

Yute — Thu, 20 May 2010 01:55:17 GMT

Sterling, I agree. I think the evidence speaks to the fact that some single women have raised strong, capable, responsible men. In many instances even when the family is intact, the fathers may as well be absent since their role is merely that of bread winner with little or no emphasis on parenting. What continues to be worrying though is the stark differences on how we raise our boys. Girls are held to particular standards but our boys literally run wild. When the consequences are visible and our societies are held ransom we hold our heads and bawl.

The socio-economic and cultural conditions specifically related to unemployment, underemployment, the weakening influence of our traditional values, the absoprtion of alien ideals and as you rightly said education are negatively impacting the men. Why not our women? Do we not exist within the same socio-cultural and economic space? The research continues to point to the inability of boys to perform as well as they can in co-educational schools. Futher, the teaching profession is dominated by women and the strategies that are used in the classrooms more often than not do very little to sustain the interest of boys. Still...the cry is where are our men? I often wonder what the quality and number of our male specie would be in a few years.

Slick, on another note. I believe strongly in creationism. Therefore, any gender which is genetically engineered, hormone induced or otherwise created is really not a legitimate gender. I am just having a good laugh. LOL

RE: Caribbean Man - Whey yo dey?

Sterling — Sun, 16 May 2010 22:33:40 GMT

Ladies and Gentlemen (wont try to be specific)

I agree with the view that women don't need men to raise proper boy children, just a strong will, never ending love and an assertive attitude towards doing the right thing... It seems that the question of environmental factors were barely touched as well. Is it a possibility that the schools we attend, area of residents and financial stability also play an integral part in determining the men we eventually become? Where I grew up we had no choice but to learn from the mistakes of our elder pairs, mainly because those said pairs would threaten to beat us up if we took the same path. This may seem a bit rash but it was a harsh reality that kept us in check and insured we become outstanding citizens. And even though our community was classified as a 'ghetto' an our parent/s regarded pairs as 'thugs' and took measures to ensure we not 'hang' with them, these were actually the influential people in our lives... So the point raised where men can be more involved in the lives of their brothers, cousins and nephews may also assist in stabilizing the life of Caribbean men.
On the issue of homosexuality where environment and parenting was raised in relation to the topic of losing Caribbean men. I think that no one can determine the root cause of this apparently massive loss in the Caribbean and worldwide *sigh*... The variables in background are too great to filter this issue and curb its effects. Recently in Trinidad, the Minister of Education in a press briefing announced that they were in the process of evaluating the possibilities of converting several schools to uni sexual schools and the effects it may or may not have on the boys and their performance. This seems to be the governments attempt to help the very situation we speak of in this forum. In recent studies it has been proven that boys succeed at a higher rate in single sex schools and this was the angle the Government would have like to take.
Subsequent to this a video circulated the country where two boys who attend a single sex school were making out in where apparently seems to be their school bathroom.:sick:... One wonders what the government will now do in the fight to train and raise proper young men. These boys were around 13yrs which is an indication the the grapes are going sour from an early age... One of these boys came from a family that consists of both parents and siblings who all play international chess (himself included)... so even with a solid background with 2 parents we see that men can still go astray and make it harder for some women, lol...

I have a question though - Is corporal and capital punishment still practiced in the countries of the Caribbean?

In addition to the factors that arise at home, I firmly believe a main cause of this loss is due to a lack of corporal and capital punishment in our societies and this could possibly be the main cause as well...

RE: Caribbean Man - Whey yo dey?

slick — Sun, 16 May 2010 16:52:55 GMT

Yute i think blessed is under the assumption you could be a she-male, anyway that is beyond the point. A woman don't need a man to raise a young man. If a woman take the responsibility to be a parent, she could do a good or better job of preparing a young man for adulthood better than a father could.

RE: Caribbean Man - Whey yo dey?

chatoyeh2 — Fri, 14 May 2010 12:38:36 GMT

Bless I think you missed my point. Its not about mentoring boys- its more so about raising women who will intern raise men. Its about teaching and empowering women so they so more of them raise men and don't accept the BS so many "men" bring to them. I am who I am, significantly so, because I was raised and guided by strong women. After boy/men leave these groups (soccer clubs, mentor ship programs, etc) they go home to women. Women- make sure when we come home, we come good.
So it is heavily an effort to empower women. An empowered gets the best out of her men.

RE: Caribbean Man - Whey yo dey?

Yute — Fri, 14 May 2010 02:58:15 GMT

BlessedOne, how did you arrive at the assumption that Yute is male? :) Not sure how to take that one. Just for the records though am all woman; no male organs.

RE: Caribbean Man - Whey yo dey?

BlessedOne — Fri, 14 May 2010 00:11:20 GMT

With such strong rooted views from you, Yute, Slick and Aque I think you guys can start something for young men. Help mentor them maybe trhough a blog, maybe a soccer camp something from Carifuna for the boys. The various qualities that you gentlemen have; you can teach them things that they may not be able to get from home.

Think about it guys;)

RE: Caribbean Man - Whey yo dey?

chatoyeh2 — Wed, 12 May 2010 00:05:34 GMT

By saying Caribbean families I am making the assumption (like everyone else in this discussion) that you mean black families. The issue of single women raising boy/young men without the presence of a father is not new (sad to say). It is cultural phenomenon rooted in slavery. What's new is the absence of men all together (As Blessed-One was alluding to). But of greater detriment to our society is the demised (for a long time now) of the village the use to raise our children and the leaders (male and female) who speared headed the struggle against the "system" Yute talks about.
I take issue in the way we raise our children, not just our boys, but also our girl. We raise our boys like Kings and our girls like servant. What marriage (merger) do we expect to come from this? More so we raise children void of responsibility. Yes the circumstance under which single mother raise their children is more than a challenge - but can we honestly say it is worse than what parent of 10, 20, 30 years ago faced. Mothers struggle through civil rights issues, race issue, serious financial impediments, and abuse from her partner. So yes, women, your struggle is real- no than those of our ancestors. My mother and aunts didn't need a man to "buss my ***" when I step out of line. Yeah- I had to pick myself up quite a few times from that blow that knock me to the floor. Today we call that abuse - I say call it WTF you want - it was part of a strategy that work.
I believe that women are the foundation of any great civilization- I believe women are the leader of any great civilization. Women raise your boys to be men.
But still there are the issues raised by Yute- the issues of crime, violence, drug, rape, etc. I am not sure if these issues can be eliminated in our life time – But I figure the keys to diminishing those issues lay in our ability evolve- to learn to raise our children to be men and women.

RE: Caribbean Man - Whey yo dey?

BlessedOne — Mon, 10 May 2010 23:57:25 GMT

The premice of the conversation is about our black young men and the many contributing factors that have caused such an impact on their lives. One of the those facts is that our homes are lack of men raising their sons. As mentioned I am a mom a single mom raising a black man, a young man that needs me but I know he needs a man to help him and mold him and give him a sense of direction that I know I dont have.

A boy goes through maturity and changes that I dont know and this is just one instance where he may need a man input more than mine.

No, single moms arent raising homosexuals that statement is absurd! Please take a look at the way you were raised; with uncles and family friends who you could go to if dads were not around. SLick that no longer exist, our young men have no one to turn to; hence me mentioning mentoring. A man that have knowledge and experience that needs to be embedded in our youth....we need those mentors.

What do you think is another contributing factor to the lives our young men are now living?

RE: Caribbean Man - Whey yo dey?

slick — Sun, 09 May 2010 17:00:51 GMT

Are you saying, men are homosexual because they are raised by a single mom or single mom can't do a good job of raising a young man?

RE: Caribbean Man - Whey yo dey?

BlessedOne — Wed, 05 May 2010 22:52:55 GMT

As a single mom raising a young black man, it is sad to say my way of life and home is the new "norm" where women are raising men; and that is a fact that is contributing to us losing our men. Yes I know I can raise my son BUT a young man needs a man to relate to, one that he can ask questions and know that the answer is one that is coming from experience and not from a book. So one solution that I have is that the strong positive black men that are out there need to align themselves with nephews, cousins, family friends and be mentors to them; help groom them in becoming real men.

I truly believe mentoring young men can help steer them in a new direction.

RE: Caribbean Man - Whey yo dey?

what next — Wed, 05 May 2010 22:49:27 GMT

You forgot to mention how much of our men are homosexuals. Maybe its being raised by a single mother. What can we do on the whole to save our men? start with the women. Women need to stop making kids just to say they can pop out one. The need to stop settling for any man who fills that void and take time to build real relationships, strong relationships and raise children within that.

Men need to change as well. Stop measuring their success or manliness according to how many women they conquor. Women just need to say no to these sweet talking idiots, have a back bone.

Caribbean Man - Whey yo dey?

Yute — Wed, 05 May 2010 09:10:40 GMT

The mounting murder rates in the Caribbean, the increase of gangs and gang related activities, heightening drug use among men, the declining performance of male students in regional and internal examinations, the heightening absence of fathers in the homes, increasing enrolment rates at universities among females and the over-population of our prisons by men are mere symptoms that we are losing our Caribbean men.

While we celebrate and respect those men who have stepped up and taken their responsibilites seriously, too many of our Caribbean brothers are victims of the system. Mere statistic elimiated by a bullet, just another man liming on the block while another son, another daughter is raised without a father. Caribbean Man - whey yo dey? What strategies can we use to help our men break this vicious cycle?